Saturday/Sunday
Oh goodness, for goodness sake Lagos, today is Saturday
Oh goodness, for goodness sake Lagos, today is Saturday, guys Saturday and there was traffic from the gate of my estate to the junction, haba na.
Also, something crazy happened, so I went to the market at Jakande and when I was done shopping my bags were so heavy and I decided to cross the road instead of using the pedestrian bridge, so I joined other people to wait for the lights to turn red when they did, we started crossing, the next thing, we heard a scream behind us, well even though the lights had turned red, omo one delivery rider had defied this red light and was speeding, he almost knocked a lady down, to tell you how close he was, all the stuff she carried fell on the road. Now, I am beginning to notice that these Delivery riders are becoming a pandemic on the roads, you want to come down from a bus, BOOM, there is a rider ready to knock you down because they are trying to pass the corners and beat traffic, and yes, I understand that they want to beat the traffic but now I understand why sometimes your food gets to you upside down. The red lights were still on and I was trying to cross the road and this bus was driving both fast and slow because he was interacting with an Agbero, I was trying to manoeuvre but I gave up on crossing the road halfway and went back.
You know I think google maps for Nigeria should be optimized to give account for bad roads and rainy days, you get, just open google maps and then it tells you “Hi Ngozi, the trip to Ojuelegba is supposed to be 30 minutes but as rain is falling, babe buy gala and lacasera and enjoy the ride”, then you see Lagos maps should give account for sudden traffic “Hi Ngozi, I hope you had the chance to pee before leaving the office, a tipper fell at sandfill, you are not getting home till 8pm”.
Can’t believe I had my seatbelt hooked to the hand brakes of this bus, unbelievable! I entered this bus and I tried to use the seatbelt but I noticed that the hook was bad so I gave up, omo the next thing, the driver asked me to use the seatbelt and before I could roll my eyes 360 degrees and let out that Original saliva filled hiss, he told me to hook it to the brakes of the bus. I was left wondering though, what if I had moved the belt and it moved the handbrakes, car owners please, isn’t that some kind of disaster waiting to happen?
Monday
I had 2 alarms set for this morning, one for 5:45 and the other for 6:00, because yesterday, lol, yesterday was a crazy day for me, I mean talk about a case of who send me?
Train to Busan
So in the morning, I made the decision to go and see my mum at Adamo, she was visiting family there, and so my people I carried myself from Jakande to Adamo, in case you guys were wondering, Adamo is after Ikorodu.
So going there was not the issue for me, infact I enjoyed the journey there kinda, but here is the snag, while I was there, my friend Nana’s collectibles called to tell me that the skirt I ordered was on its way to Ajah through her family, I knew I would not be able to reach Ajah, so I called the lady and we struck a deal, I agreed to meet her wherever she stays on the island, lol wherever.
So I decided to leave Adamo by 4pm, lol, with the intention of meeting up with this Lady, when I got to Ikorodu, there were no buses going into town, to tell you how bad it was, when the buses came, Ketu was 700 naira, Mile 12 was 500 naira, so I took the Mile 12 bus so I would connect to Alapere Estate, get a bus to the Island and all, during this time I had texted this lady to give me her location. When she responded, she told me that it was Eleko, see me laughing in ‘wherever you are’, but I had no choice. So I mean you have your best-laid plans until Lagos Traffic shows up, there was terrible traffic, omo one of these Blue BRT buses almost hit us oh, the driver was so reckless, when I dropped from that bus, I wished everyone a safe trip to Ketu.
That’s how I started my trip to Eleko, when I checked google maps I realised that from Ajah to Eleko was a 1 hour 14 minutes drive, my mind went back to that day when I went to Ogun state and got home by 1am, honestly, I was so worried because I hate walking in the dark, you know strange things happen in the day, not to talk of in the night, in Lagos, when I got to the place, I came down from the bus and started crossing, that’s how the driver came down and started asking me for money, that I have not paid, I looked at this man, this is someone who collected his money before moving from Ajah. I did not even answer him, I just crossed the road.
I left Eleko around 9:50pm and I could not get a direct bus to Ajah, so after waiting a while, I decided to break my journey, I took a bus to Awoyaya, then the next to Abraham Adesanya, from there to Ajah, before I got a bus to Jakande, when I got to Jakande there were no buses going in so my brothers and sisters, I trekked, I trekked oh, and you know there is a big difference between trekking in the day and trekking in the night. It was on this day that I realised that Ladies still stand outside at night, the times I have seen this was when I went to Abuja and Asaba, but in Lagos when I hear runs, I usually just think of ladies getting called on phone to go to parties and meet customers, I never realised that they still had to stand on the road. It kinda took me back to the old Nollywood days. I got home by 11:48pm, safe and sound and I realised how much we take our safety for granted, when I got into the room, I literally sank to my knees and said thank you, Jesus.
Thursday
I worked from home for 2 days, guys 2 whole days, now I know why you all who do remote jobs are always happy, at least on Instagram. I would love to work from home too for a bunch of reasons but I keep thinking, if I have to work from home, I would not enter buses to work and that means no tea to serve you guys, omo that is a very hard decision.
Lol whoever told this guy that staring a lady down before using your deepest voice to say good morning is sexy obviously scammed him. I was walking out of the estate and this guy was approaching me, and he was literally staring me down, trying to hold my gaze, and when he got close to me, he mustered his deepest baritone and said good morning, I said good afternoon, but in my defence I was so creeped out that I forgot the time of the day.
This bus that I entered this afternoon, so I stopped the bus and the conductor said that Jakande was 400, I said 300, he just yelled that the driver should move, so I stopped them and entered like that sha, but I had to ask him if we were fighting. Then I gave him 500 naira, and he now asked if I had 100 naira to give him so I would collect 200 naira, lol 🎶this na my turn to shine🎶, wait oh, so after shouting, this conductor expects me to give him 100 naira change? Na lie, you that decided to fix Jakande price at 400 did not know that you would change enough 100 naira notes abii, even if I had (and sincerely I did not), but even if I had, I would not have given him.
Friday
Lagos and its love for its people.
Yesterday, there was this holdup from the beginning of the estate gate, same thing today, then I realised that this holdup has been as a result of trucks being parked along the road, and to be sincere, I know most people come to the island because they want to leave the craziness that occurs on the mainland so imagine how it feels for homeowners here to find out that no matter where you go in Lagos, Lagos will always follow you.
Iye oh, with the number of people at the bus stop you would think that today was a Monday, abi they have stopped people from doing remote jobs, I do not like seeing a lot of people at the bus stop because it increases competition and this is what makes drivers increase their prices sometimes, after all, if you would not pay 400 to Obalende there are 5 other people waiting to enter that same bus.
Well, I know I sound like a broken record but Fridays will always be my best day of the week, well because…
I am proud of YOU!. You made it to the end, if you liked it, please like, comment and share, if you did not, please tell me next week. Love ya!
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